It's Easier For You To Let Me Go
by accio-pants
Summary: Rachel has never felt as though she belongs, until mysterious notes start showing up in her locker one day. Fabrerry.


Stumbling through the corridor, Rachel shrugged off the uncomfortable feeling that all the eyes of her peers were watching her closely, scrutinising her every movement. Sucking in a deep breath, she opened her locker, wishing for that tiny piece of paper to flutter out, and knowing it was never going to happen again. Though deluding herself into impossible hopes was easier than facing reality.

Shoving her books into her locker, her stomach sank as she noticed the absence of the tiny slip of white. No notes had appeared in over 2 months, yet she couldn't help but pray that one day, she would have that short message that brightened her day, every day for almost a year.

When Quinn had first left, her friends had eyed her warily, as though expecting her to have a meltdown. But she kept going, kept pushing her thoughts to the side and focussing on her goals even more so than before. She hadn't stopped to think about how she felt until weeks after Quinn was gone, and by that point any chance of reconciliation was down the drain. She was now in Texas, and Rachel was stuck in Ohio.

It had been months since Rachel seen Quinn's smile. The days went by slowly, as though taunting her with what could have been.

Quinn was, as cheesy as it sounds, the only one who got her. Not in a romantic sense, but as her best friend. She knew Rachel backwards and forwards, and everyway in between. She could see past Rachel's façade, and knew all her deepest insecurities. Sure, their relationship hadn't been so great over the years, Quinn being Rachel's main tormenter over the years. But as they got older, and they both matured, the finally saw the other side of each other.

The first day Rachel received that little note was the day when Rachel was questioning everything about herself. It was on one of her 'low points' as dubbed by Quinn. Berating her arrogant and annoying personality, Rachel had violently snatched her books from her locker, almost missing the piece of paper that was innocently tucked between two of her school books. Opening the note, Rachel puzzled over the quotation left inside.

'_To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have. -Ken S.'_

Screwing up the paper, she tucked it into her pocket for later disposal. However, later that night the piece of paper had made its way onto Rachel's floor. Picking up the quote, she continued to puzzle over the sender and their motivation. She didn't know any Ken S's, so she assumed that 'Ken' was the quoted. This brought her back to square one.

_By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before. -Edwin Elliot_

Over the next month, she continued to receive terribly corny quotes in her locker. Rachel grew accustomed to the little note in her locker near the end of each day. They were what she found herself looking forward to each day. She always rushed straight to her locker after 4th period to check, and attempt to catch the sender in the act. And after many attempts she was finally successful.

'Quinn?' Gasped Rachel dumbfounded. Whilst she and Quinn had become close over the past few months, it was probably the last person she expected to be sending her caring messages into her locker.

Looking like a fish out of water, Quinn tried to explain herself to Rachel, but the smaller girl shushed her, not needing for the blonde to explain why she was being so kind.

After that, Quinn became her rock. Even though Rachel had busted Quinn, she continued to leave her small messages in her locker every day. Rachel grew to love her as her best friend, relying on her for moral support against the rest of the student body. When Rachel got knocked around, or food and beverages thrown on her, Quinn was always there to clean her off, and give the culprit a good earful.

_You are much deeper, much broader, much brighter than any idea you could have of yourself. -Harry Palmer  
><em>

After months of bliss, Rachel noticed a change in the quotes. They were growing more distant, less carefully chosen. The distance in the words translated to real life as well. Quinn was often missing when Rachel was in trouble, and was vague when Rachel was talking to her. When questioned on the subject, she became defensive. Harsh words were uttered and before Rachel knew it, Quinn was no longer speaking to her.

Throughout it all, the messaged never stopped.

_The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else. -E. E. Cummings  
><em>

After various questions over her mental wellbeing on an unassuming Monday, Rachel went to her locker to read her daily note left by Quinn. It had been weeks since Rachel had last spoken to Quinn. Eagerly opening her locker, she was disappointed to see that the piece of paper was smaller than usual. Reading the paper quickly, her brain didn't quite understand. After several re reads her grasp slackened on the tiny white slip, and it fluttered to the floor to be promptly trampled on my some students. She didn't understand. It didn't make sense.

_Goodbye –Q Fabrey  
><em>

Running, she found her friends. Looking up at her, their eyes widened as they noticed the tears pooling in her eyes.

'Where is she? Where did she go?' Rachel questioned furiously. _That's_ why her friends had been acting strange all day, asking how she was feeling and acting as though she was a china doll.

Glancing around the table nervously, Kurt finally raised his voice quietly in reply, his head bowed.

'She's gone, Rach.'

'What do you mean _gone_? Where has she gone?' She snarled in reply, a tear breaking free and rolling down her face.

Kurt looked up, a puzzled look plastered on his face.

'You really don't know?' Rachel shook her head dumbly. 'She moved Rach, to Texas. She didn't tell you?'

Rachel stood there gaping. There was no way. Quinn couldn't have moved to Texas. Why had she not told her? However, at this tidbit of information, the pieces in her brain began to click together. It explained why she had been acting distant, pulling away from Rachel. She was leaving. No, she wasn't leaving now. She was _gone_.

Still, months later, the glimmer of hope that she would receive one last quote was still in the back of her mind. Inside her locker, a picture of herself and Quinn adorned the wall, over the top of Quinn's last letter. Rachel knew it was pathetic, she really did. But she didn't know what to do without Quinn, without her letters. Because those letters were for her. They helped her get up in the morning, the helped her pull through the first four periods of the day.

Quinn had understood her. She had helped her achieve the impossible; she had made Rachel feel alive. Now, with Quinn gone, Rachel's life had become near meaningless. Quinn had shown Rachel that life was worth living, and that there was a reason for her life.

Without her, she was empty.

_As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. -Carl Jung_


End file.
